she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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