He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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