I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
