Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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