She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We talked him into tasing himself.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize