I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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