I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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