When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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