she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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