Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
