at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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