the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
