Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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