I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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