That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize