She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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