Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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