nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
