I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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