Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
