and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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