Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize