And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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