We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
