how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
