i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I love you. Go after that dick
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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