His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
