Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I forget how to act sober
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize