Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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