i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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