It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
