As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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