I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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