What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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