I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
