What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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