One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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