Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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