u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize