and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
