why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
