I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
