He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
