I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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