He kissed a someone with a penis
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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