It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
