Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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