Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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