Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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