OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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