i was born a porn star she said
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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