evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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