Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fuck appropriateness.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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