I must be too annoying 4 u.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
