it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize