I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
