I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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