Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
