I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
