so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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