My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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