Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
